Can you believe it!?!?! I watched 160 movies in 2011! That’s a lot of movies. Not quite 1 every other day, but far more than 1 every third day. I’m really proud that I was actually able to take the time to review every movie as well (even if it did take me into late January before I got around to it). Here’s a real zinger though… At the time of me writing this, it is the 22nd, and I’ve watched 11 movies already this year. Thats a pace for 183 movies this year. Do you think I can keep it up? I’d like to believe I can.

So, this is the 2.5th time i saw this movie this year, and to be honest, I’m a bit surprised that it’s that low. I watched it in January (which I was still in Detroit at that time) and then I didn’t watch it again until August when I watched it as a nap movie. This viewing was our Pre New Year Eve festivities movie. It was a good choice. Everyone had seen it so there was no urgency of watching it. Everyone was able to wander around, eat, grab coffee, shower, get dressed, all while I stayed in my pajamas and watched one of my favorite movies.

There were many remarks made about this movie:

1. Chris Pine is perfect – I believe, though I’m not willing to go look, that my first post about Star Trek was basically me masterbating over the thought of Chris Pine as Captain Kirk, but let me take a few words to remind you that he is simply AMAZING in this movie. The #1, if not only reason that I am anxiously awaiting a sequel rather than dreading the possibilities is that I get to see more of Chris Pine as Captain Kirk.

2. Those weird aliens in the Ice Planet didn’t really belong in this movie – It’s true. What the hell was the point of that? Did we really need a red cloverfield monster eating a ton ton and then chasing Captain Kirk around? Who thought that part up? Also, was it really considered great writing to say “Kirk falls down a cliff. Monster tumbles down same cliff” Sooooooo, the monster is a klutz? uh… fair enough. Also! Why does the red monster kill the beefy cow Snuffleupagus looking thing and then instantly throw it aside in order to attack the relatively thin and bone-filled human? I don’t get it.

Ok, so, the final review of 2011 is behind us. I have 11 reviews to write for 2012 now. I’m exhaused just thinking about it (mostly because I’ve really watched some shitty movies so far this year). Well, thanks for reading all of these this year. It was a great one for the site and I look forward to another great year in 2012.

It just came to my attention that I somehow missed reviewing this movie. It might have to do with what an afterthought of a watching it was. We watched it on the bus on the way from New York to Baltimore with some great hiphop and some interesting conversations happening in the background. It wasn’t what I would call a great atmosphere for monster burning. But we persevered and I will give you this review, even if it is very late.

That being said, I really enjoyed this movie and philosophically enjoyed what it was. This movie managed to be both a remake and a prequel all at the same time. Hear me out… This movie is definitely a prequel, thats undeniable. That is what it is intended to be. But that being said, I believe this movie serves as much as a remake as any remake you’ve ever seen. As a matter of fact, I believe this prequel serves the purpose of a remake better than any remake ever has.

The point of remaking a movie is simple: to bring a great story to a new generation and, preferably, tell the story using technology that we have now that we didn’t have then. The Thing is a perfect example. In the 80′s a low budget horror movie could only do so much to successfully scare you (mind you The Thing of the 80s did that well). However, now, special effects, CGI and makeup have evolved so much that we can expect a better product. As you may be able to tell, I don’t necessarily feel that remakes are an unnecessary evil.

But what difference does any of this make, since this is actually a prequel? Well, I contend that this movie is EXACTLY the same movie as the 80s version, except that you replace Kurt Russell with a cute girl (and boy what a cute girl!). There is nothing in this movie that is different or unique from the first one OTHER than it happened right before the first one. But its intent is far more than simply telling an additional part of the story.

Think about it. They didn’t call this movie The Thing 0. It was called The Thing for a reason. It’s intent was in fact to bring this story to a new generation. It didn’t add a ton to the storyline, really, it simply told more. Which I applaud.

I think this movie was a helluva lot of fun. I probably should have gotten into why I still love the 80s version better by a fair margin, but that’s not fair to this movie. It was one of my favorite movies of 2011 and I’d highly recommend it.

You know who rules? This guy:

I want to see him kicking ass all over the movie landscape, but I’ll be honest, I’ve never really taken the time. I really want to though. This is the only one I had seen before, so before I spend 2012 on a quest to see all of the Bruce Lee movies (or maybe I’ll go with the greatest martial arts movies instead, but whatever, thats for another time), I wanted to rewatch this one to make sure i had seen the entire thing. I had, but that doesn’t make it any less awesome.

I really like this movie from start to finish. That being said, I like Bloodsport a ton too, which has essentially the same plot. I just like seeing people wail on each other in semi-organized martial arts competitions. Last year, I watched Ip Man for the first time and it instantly became one of my favorite martial arts movies of all time and was my inspiration for going on this Bruce Lee quest.

If television and movies have taught me anything, it is that there was a time in American culture where tv channels would put on martial arts movie marathons for entire days. You could wake up sunday morning and watch 10 shitty karate movies in a row, do this every day for months, but you’d never see them all. When did these days die? I would love to be able to waste a full day on martial arts movies. I’d also like to do the same for Westerns and B-Horror, but thats for a different post.

So, I’d like to discuss my plans for 2012 to watch more Martial Arts movies. I would like to do this somewhat systematically, so my plan is to do the following:

1. Scour the internet and find a few lists of “top martial arts” or “top fighting” movies.
2. From this fight movie database, I will create an initial rankings, seeds if you will.
3. Unlike other Movie Fight tournaments I will watch, or have seen, every movie in the tournament. Then, within the reviews for those movies, i will spend part on a review (as I did here) and the other part as a comparison to its competitor (which would replace this in the following post).

What do you think? Think I can pull off an entire tournament like this in a year?

Movie Review #158: Them!

Posted: January 25, 2012 in Movies, Reviews
Tags: , , ,

Ants

No! Not those ants! The ones from the 1955 classic horror film, THEM!

So, here’s the deal… This movie is NOT the greatest thing that ever happened to movie making, but I get what people are saying with regards to the cult status of this movie. Here are some opinions that I had about this movie:

1. Ants are gross. – It’s true! I’m grossed out by them. I’d rather they weren’t all over the place. Also they’re super strong, therefore partly scary. They could probs throw you across the city if they were the same size as you. That’s not good. But…

2. Slow moving, apparently mentally injured ants, aren’t scary – Now I watched this movie start to finish, and I’ll be honest, I’m not sure these ants killed anyone. They mostly just were loud and obnoxious and terrifying to look at. I’m sure they could be trouble overall, but its not like they were wandering into town and stealing all the sugar we need for our delicious coffees. I think the whole story started because someone was investigating a death, but whatever. I’m not impressed bad guys. NOT IMPRESSED

3. Why did they have to have that loud noise!!! – I mean what is the point of that!??? I think it would be better if that didnt happen. I think its a pain in the butt. I want it to STOP!

And so the question becomes, is it the right thing to do for me to watch these 50s camp horror movies? I haven’t watched many of them, but from what i’ve seen, I haven’t been that impressed. Maybe its a community type thing. like you have to watch with friends or with weed so you can make funny jokes or point at things that dont make any sense. That would be fun I think.

For now, I think this 1 movie foray will do for now. I guess I’ll stick to the 80s slasher flicks I admire so much. Maybe I should set up a 50s scary movie night or something. That would be fun.

And so it ends. I spent an entire day watching 11 hours 40 minutes of film. 3 movies spanning an entire day. I only napped during it… a little. For the most part I was there, I watched and I enjoyed. It was a great day. Thanks Jesus. So here are the top 10 plot points in RotK for me!

10. Frodo and Sam are saved by Eagles – Really? After all that… eagles?
9. The guy from Fringe acts like a dick – This guy is such a weirdo asshole. I can barely stand it. Here’s the thing, is he under Sauron’s control or something or what? Or is he just a flat out dickhead. Weird.
8. Aragorn signs up the Army of the Dead – The dead are all ‘we wont fight for you’ and Aragorn is all ‘what about this sword?’ and the dead guys are alike “oh, ok”
7. The guy from Fringe tries to burn himself and his son to death – that guy gets what he deserves. What a friggin prick. Gandalf is all… I’ll save Faromir, but not you!
6. Army of the Dead attacks – When these guys show up… its all like BOOM. EVERYTHING DEAD! because what kills ghosts? nothing. thats what
5. Elephant attacks – Dude what the hell are those elephant things? They rule! i love the part where Legolas takes one over. That shit is amazeballs.
4. Theodin and Rodin Army save the day at Minas Tirith – This battle is epic. It takes up a great majority of the movie. its really great.
3. Gollum and the Ring fall in – hahahahaah, that dickhead deserved it. I hate that the ring survives on that bit of rock for a few seconds. WHATS THE POINT OF THAT. DAMMIT!
2. Sam’s clever maneuver – I love that Sam temporarily steals the ring. Its so fitting. He truly is the greatest hero of this story. Frodo is all well and good, but Sam is the man!
1. Witch King v Theodin, Eowyn and Merry – I love this moment. It really brings the story full circle. And I know its a little cliche, the moment when the Witch King says “no man can kill me” and Eowyn is like “I am no man”, but I LOVE IT! Its so great. She’s so great. My favorite part.

And there it is. My 3 reviews of the lord of the rings movies. Now… I just have to watch the commentaries. Oh, there are two of them, per movie. Fair enough. Here… we…. go!

Well I had so much fun with the top 10 events of Fellowship of the Rings that I figured I would continue it here for Two Towers and do the same for Return of the King later. This movie I have a greater respect for now that I’ve seen it a few times. The first time I saw it, I was just like “yea, but nothing happened!!!” but now i see that a lot happened afterall. There are some truly epic moments in this movie for sure.

So, what we got in this one?

10. Gollum shows up – This guy is a dick, but I guess I have to mention him. Some people like him.
9. Eomer is treated like poop by his dad. – I guess this isnt the part that I “like” but i like the back story and I like how badass Eomer is. It helps the loss of Baromir in the first one
8. Merry and Pip meet Treebeard – Haha, Treebeard rules. That guy is a badass
7. Gandalf the White appears – In his mind he was gone for 1000s of years. So he has to jog his own memory as to what happened. That fascinates me.
6. Clean Theodin’s Curse – I love that this old dude was all “i’m tired” and Gandalf is like “fixed ya” and Sauromon is somewhere else and hes like “dangit”
5. Aragorn killed? – I actually like this scene a lot. In reality, this story doesn’t pull punches about killing a bro off, so it was entirely possible that he was dead. I liked that battle too.
4. Gandalf Fights Balrog – This part is all “oh, we forgot to tell you this completely amazing badass thing that happened in the last movie. Watch THIS!”
3. The Battle for Helm’s Deep – So much badass stuff. Legolas and Gimli’s deathcount game. The toss of the dawrf. The orc that funs like a badass suicide bomber into the bomb. The part where legolas snowboards down the staircase. I love this scene.
2. Gandalf returns with Eomer – When the horsemen come over the hill, careen down into the valley, the orcs are all “its cool, we’ll just spike them” but then the sun shows up and is like “oh hai guys!” and the orcs are like “MY EYES!” and Gandolf ends up kicking asses.
1. The Battle for Isengard – I love the Ents fighting the orcs. The orcs and Sauromon are all cocky and they think things are going to go their way, but uh uh. I love the fact that they figure out to use fire on the Ents, but the ents are like, oh we’ll just flood the entire valley, no bigs. It’s awesome. I especially love the ent that runs forward to get into the water cuz he’s on fire. Hilair! love it.

Imagine this:

It’s Christmas Day. You are separated from your family and friends. But you are an internet wunderkind and have managed to connect with both of your parents via webcam in the early parts of the morning. You’ve opened your presents by yourself, ate breakfast and had coffee. It’s 10 am. Now what to do with the rest of this lovely Christmas spent alone indoors?

Why, watch the entire extended edition of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy of course!!!

And so it began, watching the Fellowship. Now there’s not a lot that I know to say about these movies that isn’t apparent from me being a complete nerd. I love this movie. Frodo rules. Aragorn rules. Gandalf rules. Etc… But what is there to talk about? I guess I can rank the top 8 plot points of this movie…

10. Sea Creature attack – I like how they have to fight that water creature and then Frodo is like “whats the elvish word for friend?” and then its over. haha. hilair.
9. Arwen summons lots o water – I like how the Nasguls are already scared of water, but then they’re like well, we’ll give it a try and Arwen is like “fooooooled you!” WATER!
8. Fellowship in Dwarven cave – I like when the Cave troll shows up. “They have a cave troll?!” that thing was intense.
7. Fellowship vs Orcs – Final Fight of the movie. Gave the group some confidence.
6. Dude cuts off Sauron’s Hand – A triumphant moment in the first scenes of the movie
5. Fellowship Formed – I love the moment where Gandalf hears Frodo before everyone else. The look on his face is priceless.

4. Pip and Merry set off awesome dragon firework
Oh Pip and Merry. You guys are such dummies. I love this part cuz they’re all “yea, we can handle this” but nope, we’ll just burn down the shire instead. And then they’re like “yea, lets do that some more”

3. Nazguls kill a bunch of pillows
BWAHAHAHA! Stupid Nazguls are all like “we is gonna kill some hobbits while they sleep” but Aragorn is all “thats a dick move. JK! We’re across the street watching you. BWAHAHA!” I love this part. It was pretty surprising the first time.

2. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
Dude, this part rules. Gandalf is all “run you fools!” and the Balrog is all like “oh hai everyone. Mind if i take a bite of you?” and Gandalf is like “yes we DO MIND!” It rules. Also there’s a lot of unnecessarily thin running lanes in this area, wouldn’t you say? I also love it for the follow up in 2 towers.

1. Boromir’s Death
Boromir rules. I know the guy is a complete dick for like basically the entire movie, but at least he shows up at the right moment. He’s all like “YOU WILL NOT HAVE THESE HOBBITS” and he takes like 100 arrows to the chest and he’s all like “Don’t care” and keeps fighting. It rules.

Alright, It’s time for me to get caught up on my Moviefight posts. Sorry I’ve been gone for a while, but I got in a hole and then I was stressed about being behind which put me more behind which stressed me out more. It’s a vicious cycle people.

Anyway, Lets talk about Order of the Phoenix. I’m prepared to put Order of the Phoenix near the bottom of my Harry Potter list and here are the reasons:

1. The Villain is that crazy bitch

Not this one!

THIS ONE! Gawd. I hate this B word. I think one of the best parts of 7.5 is when she gets what’s coming to her. I really love seeing her lose out at the end of this movie, but she’s such a damn pain in my neck the entire movie that I can’t enjoy it. She a b-word of the type that I can’t even stand her.

Now I freely admit that a good bad guy is what makes a good movie. Good old Voldy… He’s a good bad guy. But this lady is just annoying. I can’t get behind it for some reason. Watching her just pisses me off. I dont want to be pissed off when I’m watching HP. I want to feel triumphant.

2. Dumbledore’s Army.
I’m gonna be honest with you, this part is FUCKING BORING! Oh, its cute that the kids are getting together and practicing and junk, but I’m just not that impressed with this section. I want to see them fighting shit, not fighting each other. Again, this is what makes 7.5 so great. Real junk happens. I like real stuff. This movie proves to just be a staging ground for all of the other movies. Thats ok, I’ll admit, and don’t get me wrong I love this movie, and its def better than the first one, but its not one of my favorites.

Well, thats all I have to say about this movie for now. Oh! But lets discuss some upcoming Radcliff movie’s i’m excited about…

I want to see this movie and I contend that it will likely be above some of the HPs in my radcliff rankings. But we shall see!

Ok, Here we go. My personal top 22 movies that I saw for the first time in 2011.

Movies I Recommend Without Concern
22. Bunny and the Bull – This is a cute cute cute movie with some really great story. I love cute well made movies like this. I highly recommend you see this underground brit comedy.
21. Drive (2011) (In-Theater) – This is movie is coo coo crazy. So hyper violent and cooly stylized. I really liked just about everything about it.
20. Chocolate – Cute Thai teen girl beats the snot out of, oh, say, 1000 bad guys. It’s like Taken only with an Autistic Thai Girl as Taken. Love it.
19. The Return of the Living Dead – This is the most badass movie ever of all of the badasses. This movie punches other movies in the face.
18. Suspiria – This 70s Dargento Horror movie was the most badass thing I’ve ever seen. I loved it. I want to watch them all right now. So creeps.
17. Bridesmaids (2011) (In-Theater) – This is one of everyone’s favorites of the year and sames for me. I love it. SOOOOOOOO FUNNY! The “its happening” moment was wild.
16. Don’t Look Now – This movie has the most insane ending of any movie I’ve ever seen. I’m still not sure I understand why this happened.
15. Forgetting Sarah Marshall – This movie is super hilarious to the point at which I feel like I cant watch it again because It wigs me out.
14. Resurrect Dead (2011) – This is the top Documentary on the list this year. I love the mystery here. I love everything about it.
13. HappyThankYouMorePlease (2011) (In-Theater) – This was my fave cute rom com indie cutie movie of the year. I love it and cant wait to see it again.
12. I Saw The Devil (2011) (In-Theater) – This shirt was crazy. So much crazy shirt. I can’t believe I had to see this crazy shirt. LOVED IT
11. 1990: Bronx Warriors – I really wish I could have put this movie higher. I think its completely bonkers in every way and I think it’s going to be one of my favorite movies for all time.

AND NOW!!! THE TOP 10 MOVIES I SAW THIS YEAR!
10. Horrible Bosses (2011) (In-Theater) – This was my top comedy for the year. I loved Bridesmaids, but I thought this movie was the funniest thing I saw all year. I really loved each of the killers and each of the bosses. One of my favorite trips to the theater this year.

9. Fright Night (2011) (In-Theater) – My top Horror Movie of the year. I thought this movie was so severely underrated. Hey! Look at that! 2 Colin Ferrel movies in a row! I guess he had a good year in my eyes. I really loved this movie. Loved Anton and Tennant. I can’t wait to watch this movie again.

8. La Femme Nikita – Luc Besson’s early masterpiece was a first for me this year even though I’ve seen The Professional something like 1000 times. I love this movie. It’s such a great story. I really wish I was saying something surprising, but this movie really made the top of my list easily!

7. X-Men First Class (2011) (In-Theater) – Top Super-Hero movie of the year and I watched a ton of them this year. I think this movie fits the original intent of the story lines and the movie is a really action packed and exciting. It’s a really strong movie and I think that anyone that is giving this movie a hard time needs to get over it.

6. Super 8 (2011) (In-Theater) – I LOVE this movie. JJ did such a good job with this homage to everything Speilberg. Its scary, its fun, its action packed, its well acted and its heartwarming. I really love this movie. I want to watch it again. Can’t wait to get it on BlueRay.

5. Ip Man – This is probably the best martial arts movie I’ve ever seen. It so amazing. Ip Man is all like BAM SMACK PUNCH BAM KICK PUNCH BAM and I’m all like “YEA YEA YEA! GET EM!” It’s a great movie and I think that everyone needs to see this movie immediately.

4. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (2011) (In-Theater) – The climax of nearly a decade of watching movies happened this summer. I loved this movie. The performances, the mythos of these characters, the special effects, the movie is frigging amazing. I think it might have been a nobrainer that this was going to be at the top of my list. Love you HP. Thanks for the great ride.

3. The Muppets (2011) (In-Theater) – This movie wins the award for the most tears I’ve shed this year. It lives at the top of the list along with Up and It’s A Wonderful Life. I love this movie so much. I love this junk. It’s a great movie that everyone should enjoy from kids to grandparents. It’s the best movie I saw in the theater this year. Please go see this movie or else you’re a monster. End of story.

2. Brick – I watched this movie twice in 2011. I think its the best thing I’ve seen in a long long time. I really would love to see more and more movies of this type. It’s inspiring. I want it to be on everyone’s list of must see. JGL is at his absolute best in this movie. It’s action packed, its style at the top and it’s the most interesting movie I’ve ever seen.

1. Road to Perdition – I should never have gotten to this point in my life without having seen this movie. It’s the best comic book movie I saw this year. It’s the best action movie I saw this year. It’s the most touching movie I saw this year. It’s the best shot movie. It’s a movie that was made for me and I think it should come as no surprise that it’s at the top of my list. Tom Hanks, Jude Law, Daniel Craig, Ron Howard. All so amazing. I need to get this movie on blue ray ASAP.

Ok, so that’s it. Stay tuned for the next few posts as I reveal the 2012 Anticipation Rankings from start to finish!!!!

We’re down to the 44 movies I really liked this year!

Movies I really Liked
44. The Thing (2011) – The makeup was better in the first, but this was a lot of fun
43. Fright Night – I really liked this 80s favorite. A fun scary, funny, interesting movie.
42. Harry Brown – This movie was badass. Like an old guy Taken. I love Taken.
41. Captain America (2011) – This movie wasn’t perfect, but I love it and there was some good action
40. Unknown (2011) – Also like Taken, but actually with Taken in it. Taken 2! I think thats really coming.
39. I Stand Alone – I love me some Noe. It’s a really great movie. Not his best, but I like it.
38. The Adjustment Bureau (2011) (In Theater) – This movie didn’t quite meet my extraordinarily high expectations, but I still really liked it in retrospect.
37. An Education – Such a sweet movie. I love Nick Hornby.
36. Jackie Brown – Oh yea! I love Tarantino. So sad I never watched it before.
35. Winters Bone – I love this movie. Totally hardass. I want more.
34. Rosemary’s Baby – I can’t believe it took me this long to watch this movie. So amazing.
33. Sleepaway Camp – Not a great movie overall, but MAN what a crazy ass ending
32. I Am Number Four – Another healthy case of me liking something few else like.
31. The Box – Richard Kelly might be wild, but I like his stuff and this one counts.
30. Insidious – Lots of crazy sh*t happened in this movie and I liked almost all of it.
29. Paranormal Activity 3 (2011) (In-Theater) – Its a heck of a scary movie. Loved seeing it in the theater. Not my favorite of the trio, but I still look forward to #4.
28. The Wild Bunch – Classic Western. One of my faves now. Note to self: watch more westerns.
27. Source Code (2011) – I dig this movie. Not gods gift to time travel, but I enjoy it.

Movies I’d Recommend Without Concern
26. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari – This is the OG Psychological Thriller. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I’ve seen anything like it since. No one even tries to copy it.
25. Interview with a Vampire – People seem to hate it, but I think this movie is completely badass. Pitt, Cruise, Dunst, Bandaras. Love it.
24. Trick R Treat – This movie is completely badass. I’m not sure how this movie evaded my grasp for so long, but I’m so happy that I have it now.
23. Contagion (2011) (In-Theater) – I’m still effected by this movie. It’s a very strong film with some really strong performances.

And that’s it for part 3. I’m going to go all out and get all of the rankings into part 4. Hope you enjoy!

Lets keep going here! It’s on to the top 83 movies… lets hope they all get in on this post:

Liked it, but not a Lot.
83. Eagle Eye – Action packed and I like some of the things involved. I’ll admit it.
82. The Queen – Good performances and an interesting story i guess.
81. Daybreakers – Love a good take on vampires and post-apocalypse.
80. Jane Eyre (2011) (In-Theater) – The cinematography was great, but I guess I don’t LOVE the story.
79. I Love You Phillip Morris – Cute, good performances, somewhat funny.
78. Special – Hilarious concept. Not perfect execution, but some really great moments.
77. Man Bites Dog – Good Found Footage movie. slow at parts, but overall worth it.
76. Halloween 2 – Slash for the sake of slash… which I like.
75. Battle: Los Angeles (2011) – Not great, but good special effects and action.
74. Green Lantern (2011) – This movie stunk, but I like Green Lantern so it goes in the “like” category.
73. The Book of Eli – Love dysotopian stories. This one not great, but ok.
72. The Wind That Shakes the Barley – I get why it did well, but it was boring at many times.
71. The Unforseen – Good Doc, but ultimately not great.
70. Peeping Tom – Good forgotten horror movie. Cool concept. Not perfect, but good.

Straight Up Good Movie (but not Great)
69. The Devil Came on Horseback – Good Doc with tragic moments. Caution to squeamish types.
68. Kung Fu Panda – I’ll admit, I liked it. Sue me.
67. Broken Flowers – Good movie, but a Jarmusch can only get so high on my list.
66. Priceless – This movie was cute. Love me some Audrey Tautou
65. District B-13 – This was a badass Freestyle Walking movie. recommended for action fans.
64. Eraserhead – WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENS IN THIS MOVIE?!?!?!?!
63. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home – Whales and 80s earth. But still, I like it.
62. Unstoppable – This movie wasn’t perfect but i love the stars so much that its good for me.
61. The Green Hornet (2011) – I like many aspects of this movie. I think its worth a watch.
60. Out of Sight – More Clooney-Soderbergh, this one far cooler, sexier, stuff.
59. Troll Hunter (2011) (In-Theater) – I dig this movie very much; highly suggested for odd-movie fans.
58. The Lady Vanishes – Hitchcock stuff is so good. This one was good too
57. Stake Land (2011) (In-Theater) – A fun Vampire movie. Low Budget fun.
56. Millions – Love me some Danny Boyle, though less on this one than his others.
55. Eden Log – This is a weird underground movie, but good for sci-fi fans.

Here’s Where They Really Start Getting Good:
54. Red State (2011) – Surprising horror movie from Kevin Smith. True Surprises within.
53. Brokeback Mountain – Finally managed to see this. Long, but I really loved it.
52. Tron Legacy – I know I’m a nerd for liking this but I thought this was really fun.
51. Thor (2011) (In-Theater) – Again, most people might disagree, but I enjoyed it and would suggest it for superhero fans.
50. Monsters – I love this movie’s concept. It goes a little slowly, but I’d watch it again.
49. Jumper – This is a much hated movie, but I gotta say I like it, wish more would. Would love a sequel.
48. A Tale of Two Sisters – Great Korean horror. I love it. It is blissfully creepy.
47. REC 2 – This movie does a really good job for a horror sequel. Heard the 3rd one is coming out soon.
46. The Rape of Europa – One of my favorite docs I saw this year. Very interesting WWII story.
45. Sherlock Holmes – Another one people love to hate, but I thought it was good, tbh

Ok, thats it for this time… Lets move on to part 3!

Ok, so I’m wildly behind in my posts right now. I’m actually 10 movies back. It’s awful. I’ll catch up, I promise. However, I have to have to have to get this stuff done. I have 4 or 5 posts that I have to deliver to you post haste… 3 or 4 that are about the movies that I watched last year and 1 is for the anticipation of 2012! But… I’ve already wasted 60 words just wandering around my regrets for 2011.

So, this post is going to be a post in which I rank the movies that I watched in 2011. I watched 160 movies in 2011. Here’s the thing, of those I watched 113 movies that I have never seen before. That means that I watched 72% NEW TO ME movies. So, I do plan on ranking all 160 movies later, but it’s not fair because I am not going to re-watch movies I don’t like. So it’s not going to make sense to put them all together. Mind you, I’m going to do it, but whatever.

This post though.., THIS POST! THIS POST is the ranking of the 113 new (to me) movies. PS- I’ll point out the movies that are new in 2011 and those I saw in the theater. Ok, lets GO!

Hated it:
113. What Just Happened? – I agree, what did happen?
112. Constantine’s Sword – Boring, One-Sided Documentary
111. Severance – A horror-comedy gone wrong
110. Aeon Flux – I love the cartoon, pretty much hated the movie
109. My Name is Bruce – Good idea done poorly. Wish it were better.
108. Planet B-Boy – Doc that didn’t explain enough, falls short for sure.
107. Silent Running – I could be less bored staring at paint dry.
106. Worlds Greatest Dad – Cute idea and I get why people liked it, but not for me.
105. Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium – Would have liked more from this group, but it was for kids.
104. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen – Everyone was right; this movie stinks.
103. Tokyo Gore Police: I love gorey stuff, but this was long and sometimes useless.

Almost Acceptable:
102. Outsourced – Fun story and cute jokes, but not good and not for me.
101. Kickin’ It – Doc with a cute concept, but not very interesting ultimately.
100. Harold and Kumar Escape for Guantanamo Bay – Most of this movie is a definity “why did this get made?”
99. The Rite (2011) (In-Theater) – The lowest ranked movie I saw in the theater this year. I get what they were trying to do, but I was disappointed. Hoping for more from this years January Exorcist movie.
98. Down to the Bone – Watched this because I loved Winters Bone, but it was a mess.
97. Infection – This movie was a mess. It was messy. It was good at moments, but it was messy.
96. City Island – A few good laughs, but overall not satisfying.
95. Solaris – Soderbergh and Clooney is a good combo, but this was egotistical junk.
94. Goodbye Solo – Sweet story, but I think it just came up a little short overall.
93. An Unreasonable Man – Nader doc was informative, but it was uneven and ultimately unnecessary.
92. Things We Lost in the Fire – Heavy handed drama. Some good performances, but not enough.
91. Frozen – Great idea, bad and sometimes poor execution. Liked it though.
90. Ichi the Killer – This thing was wild. It was a good idea, but went on too long.
89. The Interpreter – I liked some things here, but its ultimately not good.
88. Gamorrah – Everyone seemed to like. I guess I see why, but not for me.
87. The Namesake – Cute at times, boring at others. I liked it, but not a lot.
86. This is England – There are a few fun ideas here, but its a bit heavy handed at times.
85. Rango (2011) – Again, good ideas but not perfectly executed. Borderline good movie.
84. Meloncolia (2011) (In-Theater) – I hate the characters, but part of me believes thats meant to be what I feel, so I give some credit where credit is due.

And that’s it for that category. Next post we’ll move on to movies I actually liked!

I was buying Christmas gifts on Amazon a few weeks ago and I came across something I didn’t realize I would need… a DVD copy of Forget Paris. You see, its not available on watch instant, though don’t ask me why that’s the case. It’s not like it’s God’s gift to comedies. It’s not like someone that can drive is younger than it. It’s not like Billy Crystal still has a career or anything.

I really love this movie though and I’ll gladly put it amongst the most underrated movies I know of. It’s a really well directed movie and its mediumly well written. I really enjoy it mostly because of the amount of tears and love involved and less because of the jokes.

The jokes are good, I guess, but the situations and the relationship are what I admire most. I love the fight that these people have to go through to stay in love. Reality is that it isn’t easy. Being in love isn’t easy. Ladies, am i right?!?!?! But sometimes you have to stick to it. You have to make sacrifices.

I love Debra Winger in this movie. She’s so cute and real. She’s funny and interesting, but that realism is what is most important to me. She’s the perfect casting for this role. Ok, I readily admit that the REAL that she throws down in Terms of Endearment are far greater, but they’re still in existence in this movie. I love that this romantic comedy goes for it with real situations and she does a great job of showing it to everyone.

I’m glad to own a copy of this movie. I like watching it from time to time. As I said, it’s no gods gift, but I hadn’t seen it in a while. Here. Here’s a clip that I love from it. I hope you love it too:

Oh, also, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! The reviews have been a little out of order this week, but I all told, I managed to squeeze 152 reviews into 2011, while having seen a total of…

155 MOVIES IN 2011!!! Thank you all so much for reading and participating this year. I’ve been inspired to keep going in the new year and keep writing reviews even if they are mostly just for me. Thanks everyone and lets have a great 2012!

Coming in January…
3. Reviews for the movies I watched over Christmas Break
2. Anticipation of all 2012 movies!
1. The Rankings of everything 2011!

Whilst playing a rousing game of mahjong it was decided that we would continue our Harry Potter Marathon, but we would jump ahead to Deathly Hallows 2 so that we could demonstrate one of the more confusing parts of the movie. It was up to question how harry had managed to come back from the dead, or whether he had died at all. We looked into it. I think a satisfactory answer was established, but I fear to say it here for fear I still am not sure. Oh screw it, I’d rather know than not… also, I’ve heard you get a lot more comments with mistakes than you do with success:

I think what happens is… Harry has the Resurrection Stone and somehow uses it just before he dies, so yes he DOES die and he he does come back to life. Therefore, in death, the horcrux created within himself, aka the gross ass baby thing under the bench in the heaven train station. So, therefore, the horcrux dies, but Harry is able to live. Boom. Voldemort defeated.

OK, so I’ll admit, I watched this movie with my back turned to the screen the entire time. For some, it probably looked like I was in the movie. That would have been cool. But there are some things I decided based on this movie:

1. Nevill Longbottom fucking rules!
First, he goes right out to the edge of the Hogwarts and taunts the badguys and then runs back across the bridge before it blows up. Like a pimp! That guy rules. Then later Voldemort is all like “YO! I killed harry potter. You should all give up.” And then Longbottom was all like “Dude. No way. I’ll NEVER KNEEL TO YOU!” Neville. You Rule.

2. Molly Weasley rules!
It’s not news that Beatrix Lestrange is a bitch. Everyone knows that. She kills Sirius Black, her 1st cousin and then gets away. She sucks. She causes all sorts of other trouble. But then comes Mama Weasley. She’s all like “BITCH! YOU ARE CRAZY AND I’M SICK OF IT.” She is so damn powerful. I love it. She crushes that crazy nutty B Word.

3. What ever happened to Harry’s Quiddich Career?
The book might go into this, but what does Harry do as an adult? It makes me curious. He was so badass at Quiddich. He bested Krum in athletic combat in Goblet of Fire and Krum is clearly the best on earth. I would contend, therefore, that Harry is likely the best on Earth. He should play Quiddich.

Got anything else that people wouldn’t automatically think about that’s awesome about Harry Potter? No obvious ones.

Part 1 of my review of Oldman’s career ruled.

Part 2 was even better!

But now for the end of the Trilogy. The best of the best. We had Oldman’s “Badass Period”, which he followed with his “Bored Period” and onto my favorite, his “Greatness Period”.

Between 2001-2004, he did some weird TV stuff that is forgettable. But then… He got a role unlike any he’s ever played before, but may have been the most perfect casting EVER.

You see the greatest trick this casting ever played was that not everyone had read the books. If you’d read them, you would know that Sirius turns out to be a good guy. But if you haven’t, you see that Gary Oldman is cast and you say to yourself, “YUSSS! THIS BADGUY IS GOING TO BE SO BADASS!” and what’s amazing is that this character is even more amazing FOR THIS REASON! You think he’s going to be bad, but then WHOOPS TRICKED YOU! GOOD GUY!

So amazing. 3 great Harry Potter movies (and a little in 7.5) he got to play a great role in. A role you rooted for! A role that was beloved by fans across the world. A role anyone would die to have.

Then came Batman…

Commissioner Gordon. One of the truest, most lovable good guys in the history of story telling. Such a great image of that character. What a great role for him… most importantly because you never saw it coming. Oldman had spend almost 25 years creating the most terrifying idea in our head. And then he just went all good guy on us. And he did so uniquely and bravely.

He threw in a few weirdo characters in the mix while doing 3 Harry Potter movies and 3 Batman movies.

Book of Eli’s badguy was actually the best part of that movie. He played Bob Cratchet in The pseudo live action Christmas Carol. And he was in Red Riding Hood which was released this year, but I haven’t seen it.

Most importantly, he’s back in the helm as the main character in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. I am very excited to see this movie, though I may have already missed it in the theatre.

I think he’s a good character actor, as I think i’ve made it clear, but I really want to see him at the top of the billing. That would be really amazing.

I was going to write a Gary Oldman list here… but I think I’ve decided to save that for the new year. When I start a new tournament in January… think of this 3 part post as a preview to it. There will be a possibly 20 character tournament. Maybe more if i can see them all in time! Get ready. It’s on its way (also, I watched 2 more Harry Potters, so we’ll talk HP from here on out!)