Horror Movie Tournament Champion! THE RING!

By a final score out 8-3, after outlasting 149 other horror movies, The Ring has been named the Movie Fight’s first ever Horror Tournament and what better time to do so than on this lovely Halloween morning.

Lets discuss it’s route to the championship!

The Ring got a bye through the first round, but it was not like it needed it. It was given the chance to go up against the winner of the play-in game between Suspect Zero and Children of the Corn. Children of the Corn won that match-up but was unable to hold up against our eventual champion. I think that’s a pretty good fight, but I definitely think that The Ring is a scarier movie overall.

Next The Ring played against The People Under The Stairs. Another excellent battle between 2 scary movies that I consider to be amongst the best. PUtS though is a bit childish though. It’s just overall not that great because it has to keep clean and safe. Meanwhile, The Ring, while keeping clean, was able to have some wicked sweet deaths.

The Ring then went on to face April Fools Day. It was a short run of b-sized 80s scary movies. This one being the best example of that, it was easy to see that The Ring was going to win this movie. April Fools has a few good scares, but nothing compared to good old Samara.

Next was the truest test of them all; The Ring vs. Halloween. I believe the original Halloween to be the best of the slasher flicks of that era. Its scary, spawned so many sequels and one of the greatest villains of all time. But i tend to believe that it wasn’t quite as nightmare inspiring.

Still 3 fights to go to win a championship! And the best are yet to come!

The next fight? Against the one and only… Exorcist! I tend to believe that The Ring hits closer to home. Its more effecting. I’m not afraid i’ll become a demon possessed girl. I am afraid of Samara… still.

But it only gets better. Here I make my impassioned argument for The Ring to defeat The Shining. Blasphemy? I’m going to disagree.

Then you lovely people got the chance to vote on the finals for the tournament. Hellraiser v The Ring. The Ring made a more lasting impression on me and I’m so happy that we did this!

The Ring is the scariest movie I’ve ever seen and I’m so happy that I tricked all of you people into voting for it and making it the Horror Movie Champion!

And so it is. I’ve watched a bunch of scary movies for the last few days, so be prepared for reviews of a lot of horror movies. When that’s done, I’m going to start up the….. ANIMATION TOURNAMENT!!! YAY!!

Horror Tournament: THE FINALS!!!!!

Here it is people. The Finals of the Horror Tournament for The Movie Fight. It only took… oh… ALL YEAR! But I finally made it. So, lets discuss the combatants.

The Ring vs. Hellraiser

The Case For The Ring
Well, geez, what the hell should I say. OH, its just… THE SCARIEST DAMN THING I’VE EVER SEEN. I remember seeing this movie for the first time in the theatre. I watched it with my friend Matt and a half dozen other college friends. We went to the midnight showing because… well, we’re stupid. About half way through, I was screaming so terrified that I was holding my friends’ hand and covering my eyes with the other.

The Case against The Ring
Well, ok, I’ll be honest, The Ring is… very slow. It’s rainy basically for the whole movie. Also, there’s long swatches of time when nothing in particular is happening. Naomi Watts is doing some research. Big Whoop. Nothing to blog about. Also, there is really just a bunch of completely random stuff going on. Horses going nuts, barns, dudes electrocuting themselves. But what really even happens to anyone? Not much. A little girl scares them to death, I guess…

The Case for Hellraiser
This movie is all “Oh hey, theres some scary stuff here” and you’re all like “nah, i’m not that scared. Jason is way scarier than this” then this movie is all like “oh.. pffft… yea.. cough, yea I knew that. I meant this!” And then you’re all like “WHAT THE FUUUUUUU!!!!! YOU WENT WAY OVERBOARD!” Who even thinks things up like this? Who even makes movies likes this? They made 5 or 7 of these movies? OH and I’m pretty sure they’re making a remake right now! WHAT! WHO ALLOWED THAT! NOW I have to go to bed knowing that that is happening somewhere!

The Case against Hellraiser
This movie is… a bit much. I mean, a movie that is the favorite of like 100,000 heavy metal fans isn’t exactly my idea of the best horror movie ever. Part of being the best means being accessible to many people. The problem there though is that Hellraiser turns most people off. Not me of course. I’m a big straping man. I don’t get too scared. Other people though, they don’t like that stuff.

OK, so that’s my analysis. And now it’s time to unveil my vote. I vote for…

Horror Movie Tournament: Fatal 4

Here is all of your opportunity to defeat my movies. I’m going to vote one way… I’m warning you now… and my guess is that general society does not, in fact, agree with me. I’m going to make my arguments here and vote the way I feel and I DARE YOU TO OUT VOTE ME!!!!

The Shining vs. The Ring


So, It’s been a while since I’ve watched The Ring and I’m going to claim that that is the best reason for giving it the win. But here’s an anecdote about The Ring that shows how scary it truly is. In college, my friend Angela was… not a fan of horror movies. We couldn’t convince her to watch anything scary ever. It was impossible. She knew better. But finally we wore her down. We decided to watch The Ring, but we promised that when something scary was about to happen, we’d tell her so she could cover her eyes.
We were watching the movie and it was going well and she was enjoying herself. I can’t recall why but for some reason she had to get up and wander off, so we thought it would be a great idea to cue up the part of the movie where the girl is found dead in the cabinet on the screen. Needlesstosay, when she returned to the room, she looked at the screen and saw that, flipped the fuck out, hit me liberally, and insisted that we shut the movie off and never talk to her again.
That movie is scary as hell. It haunts me. Case closed.

Hellraiser vs. The Birds


Dude. I do NOT like birds. Birds do not like me. We do not have a good relationship. If I were ranking the things I do not have a good relationship with, birds would be right near the top along with humility and rotten eggs.
But is that a fair enough argument? I don’t have an exactly awesome relationship with spiny headed demons from the depths of hell. I think its time for me to stop letting my personal feelings against birds get the better of my analysis of movies. Hellraiser is not the second best horror movie ever, but it has taken a circuitous route to the finals and that is sometimes all you have to do. I mean, Duke does it every March. Why can’t Hellraiser do it?

But that’s all I have time for. Do you have an opinion? I’d love to hear from all of you. Remember, vote on both fights, but dont vote for both movies of the same fight. You will just cancel yourself out.

Horror Movie Tournament: Erratic 8

Well, we’re down to our final 8 movies. As we get closer, I think it prudent to go more in-depth. I have a great idea as to how to make these tournament’s faster going forward, but thats for when we start the next tourney.

OK, so here are the 4 fights for this round!

The Thing vs. The Shining
vs.
It’s been a nice run for The Thing, hasn’t it? I really love that movie. I think it’s interestingly gory, uniquely told and wonderfully scary. But… it all has to end sometime, doesn’t it? Earlier this year, I went to the midnight showing of Shining at the IFC and I got a chance to find a new appreciation for that movie. There is nothing scarier than the soundtrack of that movie. You have to give it up to the master of creepy, Nicholson. I’ve got Shining in this one, but I’m sad that it’s over for The Thing. Maybe you can vote me wrong.

The Exorcist vs. The Ring
vs.
This is by far the hardest fight I’ve ever had to vote or comment on. On the one hand The Exorcist is iconic. I consider it to be scary at parts and there’s no doubt that that crab walk scene is still blowing my mind. But that being said… I gotta stick with The Ring. I’ve never been so effected by a movie as this one. I haven’t watched it for years for fear that I will have to break my TV. I know its bad for business, but I have to vote for The Ring.

Don’t Look Now vs. Hellraiser
vs.
The two sleepers. The two movies I would have never thought could have made it to this point. Geez. I’ll have to look back and see how many far more terrifying movies The Ring beat on the way here than these two. That being said, this is the way the cookie has crumbled. So, which of these is a better Horror movie. I gotta be honest, and I know it’s been on the chopping block a lot of times, but I have to vote for Hellraiser. That movie is F***Ked… UP! That is bonkers gone crazy. I’m just remembering the part where the dude is like half skeleton, half muscle and hes trying to kiss her… SHIVER! I vote for Hellraiser.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre vs. The Birds
vs.
This is a tough one, but I have to vote for TCM. I think it boils down to which do i think is more necessary for a horror movie in the final four; a hitchcock thriller or one of the classic horror villains, and i think the answer to that is obvious. There’s no Jason, no Freddie left. We need Leatherface to stay alive more than we need a set of scary ass birds to be in the final four.

So those are my votes. Long post, but you get what you pay for. Please please please come by and vote a lot. We need you!

Horror Movie Tournament: Sweet 16 – Day 2

Alright, I really am looking forward to seeing the end of this tournament and not just to move on to the next project. No, its also because I’m curious as to who will win. It could be anything at this point.

The Ring vs. Halloween

Nuff said. I’m gonna have nightmares just from having to look up this pic. Halloween is scary and all and Michael is a beast of a bad guy, but it’s aged and it’s time has passed. The Ring’s time will never end though. Its an amazing film even if we forget the fact that it is the scariest damn thing I’ve ever witnessed. I wonder what happened to the JHorror phenomenom. It was so huge, but I guess those kids asia couldn’t keep a good thing going for forever. That being said, this is the diamond of them all.

Don’t Look Now vs. Rosemary’s Baby
I can’t believe this worked out this way. 2 of the remaining scary ass movies from the 70s that don’t rely on the stabbing and the jumping out from behind things and they end up facing one another. To be honest, I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but Don’t Look Now is scarier. It might not be a better film and it might not be as deep, but it has a far more lasting effect than Rosemary does. It’s one of those films that at the time you might say to yourself… ok, thats a little scary, but then a week later, you see a tiny lady wearing a red jacket and you just about shit your pants. I might take shit, but this movie has to move on in my mind.

The Grudge vs. Hellraiser
Here’s another interesting fight because these are 2 movies that almost lost last round, but as a result of them running into one another, one is going to end up in the final 8. You see the thing is I dont have a problem with that.
But which is a better horror movie. There’s a good part of me that wants to root for The Grudge; it’s my generation, its got sarah michelle gellar, its a better… story… but… The reality is none of that is horror. Horror is about scares and its about lasting effect. Hellraiser has that. Its scary as hell, hard to watch at others. It’s about making the film live with you, and Hellraiser does that, so I vote for it.

Horror Movie Tournament: Round 3 – Day 2

here are 5 more fights. Don’t forget that the final 32 tournament brackets are right here! I’m gonna be honest, I think there are a lot of easier fights on this day than on day 1. Maybe that means these ones will be more interesting next round… but HERE are my thoughts. What are yours?

Cape fear v Poltergeist
While I consider Cape Fear to be a fairly terrifying movie, there are some major downfalls. For one, I’m not sure that I find Juliette Lewis attractive enough as a teenager, so it makes me feel weird. That being said, the little old lady in poltergeist is un-attractive enough to give me nightmares for the rest of my life. I vote for the “little girl in the tv” movie.

The Ring v April Fools Day
Finally a movie comes along that has the power to knock off April Fools Day. AFD was without a doubt the longest lasting true B-Movie of the tournament. There weren’t truly redeeming qualities to that movie, it was just scarier than everything that it came up against thus far. But that is no longer the case when up against Samara and The Ring. OMG. The Ring. I started typing this and I really thought about turning my TV off and putting a blanket over it. Thats how much I’m still scared of that movie.

Let the Right One In v Halloween (1978)
This is a good fight. Both are movies that were considered good enough to warrant a remake within the last few years. One is the establishment of one of the greatest slasher flick villians of all time. The other is a wonderful re-imagining of the vampire genre into a new horrifying tale. Its a tough call to make. I’d be happy for someone to come in and debate me on this one, but I have to go with Halloween. Michael is just such a classic horror character and though this movie is somewhat dated now, the terror is still there.

Silence of the Lambs v Don’t Look Now
There’s no doubt here as to which is the better movie. Silence of the Lambs is by far a better movie in every shape, but is it a better horror movie? I mean, for the most part, Silence is just a detective movie. Believe me, I get that it has a horrible story going on and it has 1 if not 2 of the most horrifying characters of all time. Don’t Look Now, though not the best horror movie, is truly a horror film. It’s shocking, surprising and scary. I might be crucified for this, but I’m going with Don’t Look Now.

The Terminator v Rosemary’s Baby
I know I’m kinda going back on what I just said, but I’m tempted to consider The Terminator a horror movie. The second one? Not so much. But the first one, I’ve got a bit of an idea it is really a horror movie. That being said, Rosemary’s Baby is one of the best horror movies of its decade. Prior to slashers coming into the world, this was what these movies are about. Terrifying you with the possibilities. I vote for Rosemary’s “baby”.

Who do you got in these fights? Remember, your vote counts. Vote on one or all!

Horror Movie Tournament: Round 2: Day 2

Day 2 of the 2nd round. Check out the brackets here! How wonderful. I was happy to get some votes from day 1. Maybe I can get some more today??

The Exorcist v Final Destination
I really love Final Destination. Devin Sawa. The original. I still remember that amazing moment when the girl is refuting that there is anything wrong, steps out into the street and is like… Whoops! DEAD! And the sign falling and killin everyone. Badass. Its a great high school ‘we all gonna die’ movie. But, its no Exorcist. No, its not. You know what’s kinda funny… I’m not the HUGEST fan of Exorcist for scares, minus the crab walk scene. That part… That part is no good. Uh uh. No. I dont want to think about it. I vote for Exorcist, ok, i swear, just get that image out of my head!

The Amityville Horror v Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Another tough one. Well, at least in most people’s mind. I know exactly what I would say on this one, and being as how it’s my blog, that’s the direction I’m going. I appear to be hung up on lasting images so far in these fights today. The lasting image from these 2? Donald Sutherland raising his arm and beginning to scream. No. No fair. I’m never going to recover from that. Why!?!?!!? I must vote for thee Invasion for ruining my life.

Beetlejuice v Cape Fear
Hmmmm, I wish I had written down which Cape Fear this is. I gotta be honest. I love the 90s Deniro version way more, so I think I have to go ahead and use that one in this fight. So this is a tough fight for me. Beetlejuice is a bit more of a typical horror movie; dead things, zombies, ghosts, hell, etc. But it’s a comedy and very little of it is actually scary. As for Cape Fear, very little of it is NOT scary. But there’s nothing super natural about it. It’s a thriller in that sense. I think a distinction between the two should be made. Just because a movie gets the adrenaline flowing and the hands raised over the eyes does not a horror movie make. I think it takes something unworldly to truly be a horror movie. That being said… I think I’m gonna go with Cape Fear. The fear that it generates is too much to be drowned by Micheal Keaton being a goofball.

Shaun of the Dead v Poltergeist
Now, I feel a lot different about SotD than I do Beetlejuice. Yes, SotD is a comedy, but it’s got a helluva lot more scares in it, doesn’t it? If I were going to put %ages on them, I’d say BJ is 90% comedy – 10% horror. SotD on the other hand is closer to 60 – 40. That 30% of horror might just be enough to beat most movies, because it is a great 30%. However, it is up against one of the most classic horror movies of all time. Poltergeist is the greatest horror movie when you’re a kid and there are SO many iconic moments throughout. ARGH! I’m torn. Ok… I’m gonna do it… I’m going with Poltergeist, because of that ugly psychic lady, may she rest in peace.

The Ring v The People Under the Stairs
I remember The People Under the Stairs. That movie is like the little kids version of The Ring. “Oh, you’re 8 years old. You’re waaaaaaaay too young to be allowed to see The Ring. That’s ok. We’ll let you watch Peopleunderthestairs.” I think its a plenty scary movie, thats for sure, but its not in the same GALAXY as The Ring. I still lose sleep over The Ring. The other day, when Obama killed Osama Bin Laden, my friend sent me this pic! Case and point. Vote for The Ring.

April Fools Day v Open Water
This is a tough one for me again. On the one hand, we have a good B-horror movie. Not a great movie, but plenty of gore and trouble and goofy one liners and such. On the other hand we have a hitchcockian ride across the ocean. Scary? yes. Really scary. Ehhhhhh. So I can’t decide. One has more cred, but is cred really what you need in Horror. No it is not. Onward and upward with April Fools Day baby.

Let the Right One In v Candyman
HAHA! Candyman! That movie is weird. Isn’t he made out of bees? thats pretty scary. He lives in the projects? I dont care for that, thats for sure. Still. I’m not gonna vote for it. Nope. Gotta go with the best vampire movie i can think of off the top of my head. LTROI is terrifying and visually striking. It’s one of the few horror movies that is more than just scary. It’s also beautiful, or as much as it can be. Gotta vote for the Norwegian little kid movie

Halloween v The Fly
Here’s another tough one. I have a great affinity toward The Fly. Jeff Goldblum is the man. David Cronenberg is a genius of gore and meyhem. The movie is actually quite scary, even if it is a monster movie. It is a monster movie of the highest caliber. But Halloween is a classic. It’s the invention of Michael Myers. Have you ever seen someone try to fight him? I think I saw someone stab him in the chest and he didn’t even flinch. He doesn’t even run. He just shows up. Gotta go with Mike and one of my fave holidays in this fight.

Who you got? Where’s your vote?

Horror Movie Tournament: Day 6

Beetlejuice vs. Joy Ride
I would have easily considered this to be a tough one if it weren’t for the fact that Joy Ride is the worst. Remember in Joy Ride when Leelee Solibieski (i’m just going to assume I spelled that right because Joy Ride does not deserve my looking up how to spell her name) asks “You guys ready for an adventure?” I was. This movie wasn’t. Beetlejuice for the win (even though its not scary. There i said it).

Poltergeist vs. Darkman
No brainer. Did you know that Poltergeist is rated G? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I’m still terrified of this movie. I’m pretty sure if you put that tiny little scary looking lady that says “you must… exorcise… the demons”… love that sceen… anyway if you put that lady in you’re movie, you should have to have a rating of PG-13 or above because she alone is going to drastically alter childrens’ perception of the world around them. Poltergeist for the win.

The Ring vs. Children of the Corn
Finally. A real Horror v Horror fight. It’s really a shame though. The Ring is basically the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. I went to this movie with a bunch of friends in college and at one point I was holding my (male) friends’ hand out of complete scaredness. I probably shouldn’t have admitted that… Vote for The Ring.

Grindhouse: Planet Terror vs. April Fools Day
This I think is the most valid fight here. April Fools Day isn’t the best. But Grindhouse isn’t too hot either. I think I like April Fools Day more. Its one of my favorite B Horror movies. Its really not my fave B Horror movie, but it’s nice. I’m not the biggest fan of Planet Terror. Not a really good movie. I say i’m not a fan. I’m voting for April Fools Day.

How about all of you? How would you vote? I could really use your votes on that last one.